“I’m ready to go, let’s go, let’s go home.” Those were the words my dying grandfather spoke from his bed the day before he died. They were to be the words that would ultimately bring me back to reality. Even though he may not have realized it, he was showing me that I should be concerned with not just a reality of the here and now, but a supernatural reality, the eternal reality. That was Sunday, he died Tuesday evening. Looking back now, I now know that with those words he wasn’t any longer talking to us, but I truly now believe he was talking to someone else as the curtain of the supernatural was being revealed to him. He was caught between the supernatural and the natural.
With my grandfather’s death, I started down a path that would slowly lead me back to God and to begin taking the faith of my family, Roman Catholicism seriously. To me, it was no longer a superstitious activity that I was involved in once a week on Sunday, but a faith that had its base in reality, and realizing this, I realized I needed to conform my life to living out this faith in a very real way.
I returned to school, Morehead State University, where I had been studying for a Master’s degree in Biology,. f Following grandpa’s funeral., I was totally confused about what I should do. I didn’t feel right staying at school, so I decided to go home and move back in with my parents. So there I was in December of 2007 unsure of where my future was to lead me. I should mention also that following my grandpa’s death my reversion back to God was not immediate and many trials would come my way. Priesthood and the thought of religious life was not an immediate result.
My first thought was to get a job. That did not come along easily and I was left unemployed for three months from December to March with quite a bit of time on my hands. It was during this time that I started asking myself some important and big questions. Like what’s the big picture? What’s the point of it all? Why am I here when I don’t necessarily have to be? Why does anything exist at all? These were just some of the questions that I was grappling with. It was also at this point where I realized I needed to do something with my life that actually mattered, something that made things better for a world that always seemed to suffer and struggle.
It was late one night when I was surfing the internet for things I could do with my life, when all of a sudden I found myself on a vocation site promoting the priesthood. Suddenly I found myself interested and intrigued by the stories I found on that site. It suddenly occurred to me that I had never seriously considered the priesthood or religious life. I decided that if I was going to start taking my faith seriously, I at least needed to give the priesthood a shot and see where it might lead me.
Going forward I realized the biggest things that I would be fighting with would be the natural inclination to be a father and a husband, but I decided that if I didn’t take that leap of faith I’d never really know. I remember coming home one day after struggling many weeks over what I should do and telling my father that I was on the verge of a major decision. “What the priesthood?” I couldn’t believe those words had came out of his mouth! How could he know? I hadn’t yet told anyone. I knew from then on God was probably calling me,; I just had to be courageous enough to accept. I knew the diocesan priesthood was not for me from the beginning, I had had a great uncle, Fr. Frank Fritz, who had been one and had always complained that it could be lonely. So, I was thinking that a religious community was more the way for me to go.
The Jesuits were the first order I looked into. I was attracted by their academic and scholarly attributes. But after meeting with them a few times, I quickly realized they were not for me. One Jesuit’s self-description of “Jesus Eagle Scouts” just didn’t feel like it fit me. My Brother then suggested I look into the Franciscans and I did, I knew it couldn’t hurt. I talked with the vocation director a little bit and told him I would come over sometime for an interview but I never did, at least not yet.
But as life would have it, and by God’s own providence, I guess I wasn’t ready yet as I hadn’t grown close enough to God to be willing to accept such a gift. I got a job in March at the Cincinnati EPA and put my thoughts of priesthood and religious life by the wayside and figured it had all been a phase and I needed to get back on track with my job in the biological sciences.
By the time summer came, I knew something was missing, but I couldn’t seem to figure out what it was. I was still lost. I knew I needed to get back to the faith I had attempted to embrace a few months prior but I was having difficulty in really believing. I decided I would pray for faith by praying two novenas, one to St. Therese of Lisieux and the other to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. This was an initially just an experiment to see what would happen.
By the end of the nine days it was almost miraculous what ended up happening. You know what they say, be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. I asked for a true faith and boy did I get it. I ended up going to confession after completing the novena and the next mass I went to blew me away. I could truly see the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist at the consecration. It was amazing. I don’t think I had experienced such a spiritual high since my grandfather’s death.
Following that, the feelings of the priesthood started rushing back. I knew I had to do something this time because I had decided if I felt the pull to it again, I would investigate the possibility seriously. For some reason and I don’t know why, I felt I needed to give the Franciscan Vocation Director, Fr. Don Miller, a call and pick up where I had left off. I told him the Lord had broken through to me again. I went over to his office the next week and had an interview with him. Things seemed to click from that very first meeting.
I attended the come and see weekend a few weeks after my first initial interview with Fr. Don. I had a great time that weekend. I was able to meet many of the other friars and postulants that weekend as well as four other great guys who were also considering the same things as me! The weekend showed me that these guys were just as normal as me and had already made the commitment I was already considering. I was also able to see many of the ministries they have in Cincinnati and with such joy and love they are all doing it. By the end of the day Saturday, the Franciscans were feeling right and I was feeling at home. My feelings were confirmed with my meeting with Fr. Don that night when he asked “Well?” I told him I was feeling called and that the Franciscans were feeling right. I just loved the thought of living in community. He told me that they felt the same and from that point on we have been discerning our way through the admission process and I am scheduled to go before the board January 31, 2009.
It’s been an amazing journey. I never would have expected to be where I am at today a year ago. The Lord truly is amazing that he put two very important men in my life to lead me to this amazing journey. My great uncle, Fr. Francis Fritz is the one who put first seeds of vocation in me in my childhood, even though it was at a time when I wasn’t ready to listen. His love, generosity, hope, charity and many of his other attributes will be something I will always try to mirror as I take on my vocation of priesthood. But Uncle Frank’s brother, my grandfather, Edmund Fritz, will be the one who I will always think of when I think of the awesome gift of giving my life to God. Through him, God called me back to himself. Through his death, God brought me and called me to the Holy Office of Priesthood of His Son and not only that, but as a Franciscan!
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